It was the end of the great war of Mahabharat. Pandavas had won (or had they?). Dead bodies of great warriors were laying on the land of Kurukshetra. Nobody could identify the winner or losers. Everybody had lost themselves to death. The land was filled with wailing mothers, wives and sister. Everyone was trying to identify there kins in the hugely massacred piles of bodies. Subadhra, wife of Abhimanyu (son of Arjuna who died on the hands of Kauravas) was holding the body of his husband and crying like anything. Loss is always very difficult. Especially when it is someone rather than something! Somewhere in the middle of the large war area, Gandhari, mother to hundred Kauravas was searching for her son’s dead bodies so as to cremate them and get away with final rites. She was wandering in the field like a mad woman. Krishna, the incarnation of all knowing God, was anxiously looking at her. He wanted to teach her a lesson! Some would argue that it was rather very unpleasant time to do something like that, but then, He is God, right!!! What can we say!
The painting depicts the battle of Kurukshetra of the Mahabharata epic. On the left the Pandava hero Arjuna sits behind Krishna, his charioteer. On the right is Karna, commander of the Kaurava army. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Suddenly, Gandhari felt a strong desire for food. She started looking for something to eat and found out a fruit tree just in front of her. She reached for fruits but couldn’t get them. So she started piling stones from around the tree to reach the fruits. After she had had piled enough stones and eaten sufficient fruits to feel satisfied, she looked at the stones she had piled. When she realised that it is her son’s bodies that she had piled up, she got struck by horror. It was the most terrifying thing to do to a Mother! But then, God always have some other plan. He wanted her to understand the nature of relationships.
Krishna speaks of detached attachment.
Though its easier said then done! There is a very famous story in religious India that even today, Krishna, the playful divine, still dances with all the Gopis (the devotees of Krishna who have given up everything) in the forests of Vrindavan, at all times. Philosophically, this story has a much bigger meaning. Krishna was capable of living in people’s heart. It was as if He was mentally present with them at all times.
In last six months, I lost both my paternal and maternal grandfathers. But, to be true, I still don’t feel their absence. Same is the case with most of my family members. Why is this so? I think it is because their thoughts still live with us. They may not be there physically but we talk about them, we hear their stories and we draw inspiration from their lives. That, for me, is what relationships are. They don’t depend on physical presence. We have to get detached physically and attach at a higher spiritual level. That is what Krishna wanted to teach Gandhari. Life moves on with or without you. So, its not necessary to mourn over someone’s death. Because, its just the physical body that is getting detached. We still have the attachment with departing soul in our heart, and that’s what is more important. Detach at physical level and try to attach at a level that won’t bound you with the person. You both should be as free as a bird.
I am not saying that I have achieved all this. But, I am continuously trying and that is what matters. I have done my mistakes. I have got attached with people at so deeper level that sometimes, I can’t even stand them leaving my sight! This is a big mistake and I am trying to correct it. You simply, can’t possess anyone. Sometimes, in a relationship, it is better to let go than to hang on! So, to you and more importantly, to me, its a very big message from Mahabharat that to attach to a physical entity will only bring us misery and sadness. So, try to attach at a much higher level.
himkireet 
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